It's tough being a women in the tight fist of fear!

We had a week off of Bible Study due to spring break and yet I am late getting this up. I wanted to have a talk about the fear thing with a mentor of mine. I have recently be dealing with some of my fears! I was rejoicing about a week before this Bible Study about over coming one of my fears! It was my greatest fear and that was losing one of my children. I love how Beth put it into perspective. She talked about what happens when your greatest fear happens and how she discussed it with God. How she broke it down to the then what. It truly made me think...then what. I still have my loving God! I will be reunited with my children in Heaven. That this time on earth is only for a short period, heaven is for eternity. Esther faced her hear. She went from I can't to I will. I have to make reference here to The Rugrats and Tommie and Chuckie are at a playground and Tommie wants Chuckie to go down the slide. If anyone knows anything about rugrats it is that Tommie is brave and Chuckie sides with caution. So Tommie goes down the slide and Chuckie is at the top of the slide saying" I am a big, brave dog! I am a big, brave dog!" I have often said that to myself to remind me that I can do it! Getting married raised new fears in my life that I had never had before. Then having children raised even more fears. Shortly after RJ was born we faced a death in the family. Clay, Eddie's brother, pasted away at the age of 21. I watched my mother in law have raw pain and my father in law that looked lost. I saw my in laws go from from strong people to the weakest link. Unlike the TV show it was real and they did not get the choice to just leave a show it was real life. I watched my husband glowing from the miracle of our son to a dull look of pain. It seemed to me my fears were coming true. We just overcame just about loosing RJ, our son. No one should loose a child! It just is not right. I will never forget that early morning when I was at my in laws...we just got home from the scene of the accident. I was getting baby RJ settled and I heard the back door open and close. I knew Robert, my father in law, headed outside. Then I heard my mother in law cry in such a way I have never heard a person cry before. I went to her and she was trying to get into bed. I held her as she wailed in pain. When she calmed down I helped her into bed. I never said a word. I just helped and hugged her and let her lean on my as she cried. I did not know what to say. I felt that I did not need to say anything because it would be empty words. The next few days I did what I felt God lead me to do. It created a bond with my in laws that even through a divorce and remarriage of there son could not deflate. Since then the devil has used that to play on my fear of loosing my children. Let me tell you the devil has had is shots at my children. My son was born premature with a major heart condition that requires surgery right of way. It was so hard to see my son go through open heart surgery and being so small. Again the devil had a change when Lone Grove was hit with the F4 tornado. I was separate from my kids and my fear was that I would make it and they would not! I prayed both times. I prayed hard. My God healed my son. My God moved a tornado to protect my husband and kids. The devil lost! He will not win. The Bible tells us that he will loose. I am a child of God. I stand firm in that and I will take my refuge in my loving father! I had prayed and thought about what to type in this for fears. I have so many. I have so many ways to share them. My God is faithful and I pray He will use this for His work. Please share your fears or ways that God has helped you through your fears!

It's tough being a women thrown a gaint-size weight!

It has taken me a bit longer to get this post out! I had to do some praying on what God wanted me to post. I could not settle on just what was to come out of this current blog. So much is going on in my life. God has been working on me in new ways and I am trying to take it all in at one time. The major statement that was made in Beth's video that has stuck out to me is "One of the most important parts of fullfilling our destiny is transpartancy." This is something that God has been working on me. It is a major reason for starting this blog. I am putting all of me out there so that I can heal and others can learn and use what has gone on in my life for there benfit. It is not easy. I am so ashamed of many things in my life. I am no better than anybody and am humbled to have such a loving God.

We all have things thrown at us at times when we just can not deal! As Beth says " I have issues!" I just love the way she put things into perspective! I feel like that about just doing what I have been asked to in the church to do stuff in the church. I just want to say "No, I have to much going on right now!" Then I stop to think...there is always something going on and the devil tries to use that to stop us from doing God's work! Let's not let him win. Instead we just need to give our issues to God and do God's work. We are about to learn how Esther does that and I am excited to learn how she does. I know that we feel like God has unreasonable expecations from us. He never gives us more than we can handle. There is a saying that He never puts more on your plate than you can handle. Well, sometimes I wonder how my plate got so big. Then I realize I am being selfish. So many others have it some much worse then I do.

Being a woman means juggling womanhood, wife, mother, sister, aunt, teacher, student, employee, boss and so much other. It is hard to take time to be in the word. It is hard to take time and talk to God in prayer. Let me tell you from experience, It is so much harder not to be. You can so easily get on the wrong path by not getting into God's word and not praying. We are to pray without ceasing. So pray. Every morning put on your armour of God...read His word. I have this new found hunger for God's word that I have never had to this excent! I could live in His word had I not other responsibilties. God has blessed me with two beautiful boys and a loving husband. So I am needed else where. I love reading The Word to my boys and listen to them talk about God and ask questions. Nothing fills my souls like littles wanting to learn more. I have to share this story. This past Christmas we made a birthday cake for Jesus. While my youngest was helping me frost the cake...let me take a minute to set the scene. My little Josh has chocolate frosting covering his mouth like a clowns red paint and he had is chair pulled up so he could reach the counter to help...He looked at me with his big blue eyes and said"Mom, is Jesus coming over for dinner?" I tried to explain that Jesus is here all the time. We are celebrating his birth and that on Easter we celebrate Him rising from the dead. He put his had on his little hip and said, "Mom, I know that, but is He coming over for dinner?" I told my son that Jesus lives in our hearts and is with us all the time. He still was not happy and wanted to set a place for Jesus at the table. So we did! We had Jesus as our dinner guest on His birthday!" My son took such Joy in decorating His cake and setting a place for Him. When we said our prayer before the meal he had to add.."And Happy Birthday, Jesus hope you like my mom's mash tatas!" All I could to was smile. My heart so was filled with love and pride for my son. I was thinking if only we thought that way. To invite God into our everyday activity! How many times are we ashamed to be know as christians? Are we only christians we it is convenet for us? Do we just come a warm the pew at church to show that we are good people? Or do we seek God's word and pray with out stopping? I know I fall short of doing what I am suppose to do! My prayer is for us to do the right thing. Get into God's word and pray!

I know that is not excaltly what the lesson was on this week. But I think it fits. Is is unreasonable to stand up and say Yes, I am a christian! I do not think so. I fear that it will not be long and we will no longer be able to meet in our church buildings but under ground. So take pride in our freedom...hold your head high and let people see the Jesus in you!

Misty M. Middleton

Mean homework!

So far my homework this week as left me a lot to think about. I am weak! I have fallen into so many tempations. I need God's strength! I think about how I in the past been wish washy about my faith. Trying to fit in and still be a good person! It was a headache and stressful. I was trying to please everyone but myself and in the mess of it I lost who I was. It is a visious circle. I am also doing the purpose driven life! I love what he says about finding yourself. Find God! What an impifiny. It was right there in front of me the whole time. Mr. Wistoffe was a teacher at my school and was a director at my Bible camp. He shared his favorite verse. Proverbs 3:5&6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path.
I fell in love with it. I memorized it before leaving camp that summer. Recently, I realized if I had just done what that verse has said I would not have been twisted up in the path of self destruction on trying to please others and loosing myself. I was a mean girl who lost herself trying to please others! Wow what a psych case! It is a good thing that God has a purpose for you and me.
I just joined Beth's adventure of memorizing scripture. I am starting late but hope to get all 24 memorized by Dec! My verse currently is
John 10:28
"And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish: neither shall anyone snatch them out of my hand."
I love that I am God's child. I will be in Heaven with him. I love to talk and can't wait to have some long talks with a good cup of ice tea! Hope everyone is getting as much out of there home as I am!
Misty